:date: 2017-09-26 19:29 .. index:: life, nerd, culture The seventy Maxims of maximally effective mercenaries ===================================================== Something from the universe of `Schlock Mercenary `_ #. Pillage, then burn. #. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on. #. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody. #. Close air support covereth a multitude of sins. #. Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart. #. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it. #. If the food is good enough, the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire. #. Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock. #. Never turn your back on an enemy. #. Sometimes the only way out is through. . . through the hull. #. Everything is air-droppable at least once. #. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head. #. Do unto others. #. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?" #. Only you can prevent friendly fire. #. Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth. #. The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster. #. If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear. #. The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that's not the same as you being richer. #. If you're not willing to shell your own position, you're not willing to win. #. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow. #. If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody's done something wrong. #. The company mess and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart. #. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun. #. If the damage you do is covered by a manufacturers warranty, you didn't do enough damage. #. If a manufacturer's warranty covers the damage you did, you didn't do enough damage. #. "Fire and Forget" is fine, provided you never actually forget. #. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence. #. If the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able to get paid for bringing ammunition home with you. #. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less. #. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go. #. Only cheaters prosper. #. Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water. #. If you're leaving tracks, you're being followed. #. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun. #. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error. #. That which does not kill me has made a tactical error. #. When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support. #. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.' #. There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload." #. Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients. #. What's easy for you can still be hard on your clients. #. There is a difference between spare parts and extra [parts]. #. Not all good news is enemy action. #. “Do you have a backup?” means “I can’t fix this.” #. "They'll never expect this" means "I want to try something stupid." #. If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky. #. If it will blow a hole in the ground, it will double as an entrenching tool. #. The size of the combat bonus is inversely proportional to the likelihood of surviving to collect it. #. Don’t try to save money by conserving ammunition. #. Don't expect the enemy to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement. #. If it ain't broke, it hasn't been issued to the infantry. #. Every client is one missed payment away from becoming a target [40] and every target is one bribe away from becoming a client. #. If it only works in exactly the way the manufacturer intended, it is defective. #. Let them see you sharpen the sword before you fall on it. #. The army you've got is never the army you want. #. The intel you've got is never the intel you want. #. The best way to win a one-on-one fight is to be the third to arrive. #. It's only too many troops if you can't pay them. #. It's only too many weapons if they're pointing in the wrong direction. #. Infantry exists to paint targets for people with real guns. #. Artillery exists to launch large chunks of budget at an enemy it cannot actually see. #. The pen is mightiest when it writes orders for more swords. #. "Two wrongs is probably not going to be enough." #. Any weapon's rate of fire is inversely proportional to the number of available targets. #. Don't bring big grenades into small rooms. #. Anything labeled "This end toward enemy" is dangerous at both ends. #. The brass knows how to do it by knowing who can do it. #. An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire. #. After the toss, be the one with the pin, not the one with the grenade. #. Necessity is the mother of deception. #. If you can't carry cash, carry a weapon. #. Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits. #. Sometimes rank is a function of firepower. #. Failure is not an option - it is mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.